The following post has a pop score of 76 with a potential score of 102
Radio People LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, research, despite never taking a Statistics class. Research determines what clothes they wear, cars they buy, restaurants, and, oh yes, the songs they play. Yup, if you thought either of the following things were true, you fell for the biggest ruse in Radio history:
A) Radio People play requests
B) Radio People play songs that you want to hear
Radio People have used research since the dawn of time, asking dinosaurs what types of rocks they liked to hear clanked together and then took those rock sounds and developed what we know today as callout research.
Callout research is when a company that is outsourced (or in-sourced depending on the company) takes 2-second clips or the hooks of songs and plays them to people, 36 tracks at a time. The funny thing is that with the Do Not Call list, these companies can only call people who still have a home phone, are home around 6pm, and want to take 45 minutes to listen to song hooks instead of enjoying dinner with their family, or pet cat. Those people tend to look like this:
And they control ever song you hear. Wanna know why your favorite radio station is playing Flo Rida 1174 times a day, it’s because that woman picked up the phone and said it was simply the greatest song she had ever heard that was 2 seconds long and over a phone line.
Wanna know why Wilco never gets played on your favorite radio station? Cause this guy had never heard of Wilco and liked Fergie’s “Clumsy” better.
The really interesting thing is that Radio People ignore other research tools in favor of the ones that they are comfortable with.
Do you have the number one single on iTunes 36 weeks in a row? Yeah well those 11 million people don’t count like my stay at home mom with a ham addiction.
Do you have the #1 album in the country 6 weeks running? Well, record companies buy all those records to trump up the sales numbers to get the Radio Person to play the song…of course they do. Although, that certainly would explain why they are broke right now.
Are you the single that gets played on 16 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy? Too bad nobody watches that show anymore.
Are you the most downloaded single in America by 18-34 year olds who are going out of their way to steal it? Too bad, we don’t care about that demographic…this week it is 16 year old World of Warcraft Bards.
You see Radio People will live and die by their research until the radio landscape is a barren wasteland of vanilla stations that sound like every other station across this great divide. They will put all their stock into, despite its obvious flaws and archaic mechanics. They will stand beside the research of yore, while they tell you that Arbitron wouldn’t know how to sample an audience if it was written on their hand.
Pot…this is the kettle, call me.
That is the nastiest FUPA picture I have ever seen. However, her tube top is pretty classy!
Do all diary holders have ham addictions?
Can I see that in a ranker?
Wait a second…what’s iTunes?
Because most Radio People are assholes who don’t give a shit about music, don’t really listen to music, and love junk ’till they’re all blue in the face. This is why in the last decade, crap ‘artists’ like the Spice Girls, Christina Aguillira, Britney Spears, Fergie, etc. have dominated the charts, instead of great artists like Wilco, Radiohead, Guided By Voices, Ron Sexsmith, The Tragically Hip, Son Volt, Pear Jam, etc. What do we get? Shit. All day long. And nothing else. So radio goes to shit, and so does music.
Which is why I don’t listen to music on the radio any more.
Wow, bitter much?
If you follow Neville’s name link you’ll see why he’s so bitter.
He’s a 40-year old Canadian sci-fi fan who eats chicken and french fries, and washes it down with pink lemonade as he runs out the door (of his Mom’s house presumably) to his job in the kitchen at a Hard Rock Cafe.
If Neville truly had a clue about radio he’d realize it’s become so ridiculously fractured over the past two decades that there are in fact “charts” on which his fav artists appear. Yeah, Radiohead, Son Volt, Tragically Hip and Pearl Jam never saw a chart or got a moment of airplay? Somebody’s gotta tell him to try tuning away from RadioDisney
Live the dream Neville….
Same to you, doofus.
I used to live a dream, like the author, of listening to the radio and hearing great music like the music he described in another post. But thanks to the same pissants like you, all that can be heard is oldies everyday, followed by crappy Mousekateer pop. Only if I buy a Sirius XM radio, or listen to radio on the internet, will I hear anything good, or different. If you were paying attention to the author’s words instead of being a douchebag and insulting me, you’d learn something about what happened to radio. But you want to be part of the Sheeple Nation instead. So be it.
I love the I hate radio people. They are in love with a band that is pure crap which no one else is listening to. For that reason they love the band, play their music over and over, buy a t-shirt, poster, bumper sticker for their car, yes they have no identity other than to tell everyone that they are cooler than them because they listen to _____.
Then one day they hear another loser who lives in his mom’s basement playing the song. They quickly rip up the t-shirt and poster, take off the bumper sticker, and then cry about how the band was soooo good before but now they’ve sold out.
At least fatty is listening to Fergie cause she likes the sound of the music, the idiot who wrote this is trying to convince himself that he is ultra cool by listening to a band, funny how he also claims to be the only cool non-racist whitey cracker too with his Obama sticker. Maybe he could do the world some good by going to the hood on Friday evening and tell everyone there about his ultra cool cracka Obama love. LMFAO!!!!